This year, Ramadhan and 'Eid brought new feeling to me. A kind of feeling that I have never felt before. Like a lost soul, I often find myself trapped in a routine, days just passes by, week after week, and nothing has changed in a way I do my ibadah to Allah SWT.
For long I was very envy seeing other people really enjoy their daily pray, some even seems to long for the time to do the pray and have the opportunity to face the god Almighty. Frankly speaking, my five times prayers seems to be a routine, one that I do because I am afraid of the sin. Often I do it near the end of the time, and I do not have the enjoyment of doing it. I rarely say my pray after Shalat, likewise Shalat Sunnah.
This year, I started something different. And I felt the changes instantly. I felt that all my body is energised when I do shalat, my head is light up every time I surrender my life, my hope in my pray, as I feel his presence. Allah sees me - all that I have done with all of his blessings. I am so ashamed feeling that I have this little bit of proud for what I have achieved, and yet none of that would happen if he does not give his blessing.
'Eid is different this year, as I am not trapped in the mall to find 'accesories' to celebrate 'Eid. I am growing, step by step insha allah to a better me.
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Tuesday, 7 October 2008
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